Grave situation for hours outside Detroit

Aug. 26, 2018 UPDATE: Grave marker raised and leveled, in early August. I may be back in a few weeks.

oakview cemetery

I don’t go on many vacations and didn’t plan to write a blog on this one, but the most unusual thing happened while trying to visit my grandfather’s grave at the cemetery in Royal Oak, Michigan.

Pedro and I had gone to Flint to visit, and for me to meet his family for the first time.2018 Grandpa Leos grave 1

We decided today, we would drive to Detroit and possibly visit an aquarium on the way back.

First stop was going to be visiting the grave of my Grandpa Leo, my father’s father who died in 1954. That means he lived 52 years and has been gone for 64. There wasn’t much warning. After that, my father moved to Florida, at 13, along with my Grandma Lillie and then my Aunt Diane.

I’ve been to the Oakview Cemetery twice before. First, I was with the family in 1989.

Then, I went by myself in 2001, while I was on a job interview and ended up getting offered the job to produce the 11:00 news at CBS-owned WWJ-Channel 62 in Detroit. Good thing I got the opportunity to stay in Philadelphia because not only did Channel 62 get rid of its newscasts, it also canceled the 10:00 news on its new sister-station WKBD-Channel 50, which was UPN and now The CW.

2018 Grandpa Leos grave 2

Anyway, I was with Pedro, his sister Olga, and their mother. We stopped off at the cemetery office and got directions to the grave. And we looked. And looked. And looked.

2018 Grandpa Leos grave 3No sign of the headstone.

I had some idea of the area and was able to find some cousins, the Coltons, but no sign of my grandfather. Eventually, Pedro called the cemetery office and a guy named Peter came out to try to help us find it. And he couldn’t.

Then, he called a woman from the office who has a good reputation for finding missing graves. She was able to locate some stone markers but they’d been covered with dirt and were very dry, so we had trouble reading them.

Eventually, we figured out numbers 85, 86 and 87 in the area. I went to the place and started digging with my fingers, trying to find grave number 1 in the right section.

And there it was, under at least four inches of dirt! There were others completely covered, and pretty deep, as well.2018 Grandpa Leos grave 4

Uncovering all the dirt wasn’t easy. Pedro found some sticks that we used to try to get the dirt off the headstone. Even his elderly mother was on the ground, pulling grass out of the way!

Finally, the cemetery people called a worker with a shovel to lift the stone up a few inches.

We had baby wipes in the car and used those to clean the stone, and were finally able to read it clearly.

Peter said he put a work order in and tomorrow morning, the stone should have extra dirt underneath to keep it above ground. Pedro and I have a few more days here and will fly out of Detroit, so we’ll probably be back to check.

finding Grandpa Leos grave

This just goes to show what regular visits to cemeteries mean. They’re supposed to provide perpetual care, but how do you know? How often do you visit?

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are popular. So are birthdays, anniversaries and Memorial Day. The time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur for Jews.

Of course, it’s not easy traveling from Philadelphia to Michigan, or my family from Miami to Michigan. What about all the people in Florida with loved ones buried in New York?

Grandpa Leos grave
The third line is his Hebrew name and his father’s. The fourth is the date of death on the Hebrew calendar.

The decision to have my Grandpa Leo buried at that location was made many years ago. Then came the decision to move to Florida, and my Grandma Lillie died and was buried down south in 1976. She has an upright headstone. He has a flat one. Times changed a lot in those almost 20 years, and there’s nothing I can do — or have the right to do — to change anything.

It gets me thinking that people have to decide what they want, and make sure their wishes are known, and will be followed. And also make sure the money is there.

2018 after cemetery

Thanks to Pedro, his sister and their mother for digging, patience and other help with the search. And I’m sorry that what should’ve been a 15-20 minute stop, including directions at the office, turned into a two-hour ordeal.

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Parkland now, but North Miami Beach proud!

Did I just write that headline?

There’s lots on my mind (too often, and that’s between me and my medical professional, and I’ll get to the rest another time), but I’m going to limit myself to what just happened in southern and northern Florida over the past few days, since last week’s massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.

feature

You may recognize the young man on the left. He’s more than a survivor. His mother has been a friend since we sat next to each other in 7th grade science class.

Cameron wanted to know if Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), on the right, would agree to refuse further political contributions from the National Rifle Association. I know Natalie is very, very proud of her son’s persistence (and was so relieved last week).

Watch from a CNN Town Hall what it takes for Cameron to try to get a simple “yes” or “no” answer to his question from a sitting U.S. senator and former presidential candidate from his own state!

Future lawyer here, I hope.

Then, the website Scary Mommy described the exchange as,

“You can almost feel Rubio biting back the phrases, ‘Because I said so!’ and ‘Go to your room!’ in this clip. He’s a 46-year-old career politician who just got schooled by a teenager whose biggest concern right now should be who he’s taking to prom. Instead he’s been thrust into the national spotlight as a leader of a major movement, and doing a fantastic job spreading their message.”

Honestly, I could probably never do as well offering up an opinion as author Megan Zander did, so I’ll let her continue.

“Fox News host Todd Starnes watched the exchange and was not pleased. But it wasn’t the Second Amendment issues at play that made Starnes angry. It was Kasky’s behavior as a teen speaking to an adult that rubbed him the wrong way. He took to Twitter to ask parents how they’d feel if their own child did what Kasky had just done.”

Again, from Megan Zander:

“To be clear, nothing Kasky said or did is even close to rude, let alone disrespectful. He addresses Senator Rubio as Senator. He doesn’t scream, he doesn’t curse. He even asks the crowd to settle down multiple times so Rubio can be heard and the discussion can continue. He even offers to contribute personally to Rubio’s campaign if the Senator will agree to stop accepting NRA funds.

“Does he speak passionately? Absolutely. He’s allowed to be passionate about the fact that 15 of his classmates and two of his teachers were murdered, and others injured. But he’s not being hostile — he’s pleading with his elected official for a straight answer on the question of whether he’ll continue to take monies from an organization that thinks mass loss of life is a fair exchange so others can own assault rifles for fun.

“If Starnes was hoping Twitter would assure him that Kasky deserved to be grounded indefinitely for his behavior, he miscalculated horribly.”

I can assure you Natalie is damn proud and posted this, that she borrowed:

marjory

But sorry, ladies. My favorite social media post of the day is this one:

=====

Ain’t it great when politicians from both sides of the aisle get along! Two days in the Florida legislature:

Tuesday, the legislature declared pornography to be a public health risk. I tweeted about that. Oh, and it also voted against a measure to consider banning the sale of assault weapons.

3 LAWMAKERS
The Three Stooges lawmakers: Rep. Daniels, Rep. Ponder, Sen. Perry (from their state websites)

Wednesday, two of the same good folks elected to go to Tallahassee — Democratic Rep. Kimberly Daniels of Jacksonville and Republican Rep. Mel Ponder of Destin — got their bill “H.B. 839: The Display of the State Motto” passed by a wide margin.

It would requires each district school board to adopt rules for display of official state motto “In God We Trust” in specified places. It passed, 97-10, and is identical to a bill — S.B. 1158 — introduced by Republican Sen. Keith Perry of Gainesville. The Senate has done nothing with the bill since it was introduced Jan. 9. Rep. Daniels was first to file it last Nov. 29.

in God we trust bill

This is the law as it stands now. Statute 1003.44 is called “Patriotic programs; rules” and it mainly describes the Pledge of Allegiance, and other historic material school boards may let any teacher or administrator read or post. If passed, starting July 1, the motto must be displayed “in a conspicuous place” in all schools and all buildings used by the school board. You can define “conspicuous” or let a judge.

Rep. Daniels lists her occupation as “Author/International Speaker,” went to “Florida State University; Jacksonville Theological Seminary,” but calls her religious affiliation “Non-denominational.” So I guess she’s not Jewish. (Sigh of relief.) Before the vote, she referred to God as “the light. And our schools need light in them like never before.”

Rep. Ponder lists his occupation as “President of a workplace ministry, Real Estate Agent.” (So definitely not.) And Sen. Perry has received awards from the American Conservative Union (Christian).

According to Wikipedia, “In God We Trust”

“was adopted as the nation’s motto in 1956 as a replacement or alternative to the unofficial motto of E pluribus unum, which was adopted when the Great Seal of the United States was created and adopted in 1782. … It is also the motto of the U.S. state of Florida.”

Just Florida.

The day of the national change, during the Cold War, President Dwight Eisenhower also signed into law a requirement that “In God We Trust” be printed on all U.S. currency and coins.

Earlier, President Theodore Roosevelt had called using God’s name on money to be sacrilege.

FYI, both Republicans (of course, in name, 50 years apart).

Sad stereotypes too strong to silence (for now)

Texas Flip n Move logo

Last night, I did something I rarely do: open a Facebook post to the public, rather than just friends.

Today, I’m blogging about the online battle that followed, something I hadn’t planned to do.

pexels-photo-267482.jpeg

The story was about one of the hosts of a show on the DIY Network — part of Scripps Networks Interactive and sister to HGTV, the Food Network, Travel Channel, Cooking Channel, Great American Country, TVN, Fine Living and the Asian Food Channel.

You’re certainly familiar with some of them unless you’ve been living under a rock.

Unfortunately, it has since been reinforced to me that too many Americans have been living under figurative rocks.

diy network logo

Texas Flip N Move host Toni Snow — who along with her sister Donna — are “real estate entrepreneurs” who “compete head-to-head in a fast-paced and thrilling real estate flipping competition,” according to the show’s website.

It goes on, if you understand flipping, “Our flippers are under the gun to buy low, work fast and sell high.”

budget

And in a recent episode that was shot, produced and edited, Toni Snow asked a participant who was willing to pay full asking price for a refurbished school bus, “You’re not even gonna bicker a little bit, Jew us down?” according to CNN and People magazine.

Toni Snow NY Post Fox
Toni Snow from the New York Post, captured from http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/01/17/diy-apologizes-for-anti-semitic-slur-that-made-it-on-to-air.html

I’m not a regular watcher of that channel nor show, although I think I once saw part of an episode that was shown on HGTV.

I could say things about people from Texas but I won’t.

The network told CNN in an apology, “An inappropriate comment unfortunately made it past our team” and that they “immediately pulled the episode to edit it for future broadcast.”

im sorry

My original point was that Toni Snow needed to be edited out. In other words, she should be fired and the episode should never be shown again.

fired

That’s not hard to do.

Look at what’s happening over sexual misconduct these days. Kevin Spacey’s role in the movie All the Money in the World was recast with Christopher Plummer. Scenes from the film about J. Paul Getty’s grandson’s kidnapping were reshot in nine days, costing millions of dollars, a month before its opening. All the promotions/trailers had to be reworked. (See trailer #1 and trailer #2.)

all the money in the world
Sony-TriStar-Imperative Entertainment-Scott Free

Toni Snow reminds me of Hillary Clinton saying half of now-President Trump’s supporters fit into a “basket of deplorables,” back in Sept., 2016, less than two months before losing the election (watch here). I also thought about President Obama, competing against Clinton for the Democratic presidential nomination, saying economically struggling Americans “get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy towards people who aren’t like them” back in 2008 (watch here).

This is an embed of the Facebook post. Be warned, not all is polite.

I have to note how hateful some Toni Schroeder Schwind comes across like those quotes politicians used above, just clinging to the past. I don’t know her but her profile pictures indicate she’s not Jewish, yet she insisted more than once,

“This comment has been around for ages and I think somewhat over reaction was an over reaction. Get over it.”

(Yes, her words.)

I’d say to ask a black person about the N-word, or another minority about slurs about them. Who is she to judge what’s offensive to most Jewish people?

And I wrote “most Jewish people” because some of my friends say it’s no big deal, or it’s the intent that matters.

I also originally angrily posted, “Only #Jews! What other group would tolerate that?”

jewish symbols
Jewish symbols
menorah
Even a menorah at the Bristol Motor Speedway‘s Speedway in Lights!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seems liberalism has replaced religion for many non-Orthodox Jews and that bothers me. Their thoughts and practices are certainly up to them, but it leaves me with a bad taste. I wonder what will be in the generations to come.

Others would say I should be doing more. Again, that’s their opinion. Most of us know stereotypes like “two Jews, three opinions” carry a bit of truth.

As for the speaker’s intent, who knows? I’m not a mind-reader. I did write in a private message off Facebook,

“I find people who say things like that about Jews and prices to have bad intent. The reason is simply, one side wants the price higher and the other wants it lower. It’s adversarial by nature.”

One friend wrote there are worse words and phrases.

I responded late last night,

“Look at the reaction from the post at this hour, and also all the news articles. It’s not exactly like the president using SHole because he’s the president. Besides, if people hear it on TV, they think it’s acceptable. Don’t give the public too much credit.”

girl watching tv

Something very similar happened at the TV station I worked at in the northeast Tennessee/southwest Virginia Tri-Cities region after I left.

I explained it,

“Are slurs against any minority group tolerable in 2018? After I left the Tri-Cities, a member of the local synagogue – the only one between Knoxville and Charlottesville – contacted me after the station I worked for did a story about a guy holding an auction and using the same phrase, just like his father taught him! It aired at 5:30. At 11, there was an apology. But he was just white trash and not on the payroll. What gets me is that it’s missed in the editing process. Of course, so do curse words on signs at anti-Trump rallies.”

 

cbs fuck trump pence
Like this. Can you find it? From the CBS Evening News, captured from http://www.ftvlive.com/sqsp-test/2018/1/17/you-might-want-to-look-a-bit-closer

Yes, I used a phrase where the stereotype fit (and not about somebody from Texas, as I promised earlier). I’m certainly not perfect. I tend to be middle of the road politically, but absolutely not politically correct. Society needs civilized discussion.

I’m guessing a photographer who grew up locally shot the interview, wrote the script and edited it. That’s what happens in small non-union markets.

jew people down wcyb

I have files of both the original piece and the apology but won’t show them publicly because the anchorwoman on air had nothing to do with putting together the story. She just read it, along with having to read the apology hours later with her face on air. Her co-worker who should’ve known better caused her to suffer enough embarrassment, and she was simply subbing on someone else’s newscast while that person was on vacation!

wcyb flag
Casey is innocent

I had this last thought while trying to fall asleep last night:

archie meathead cellar
Archie and Meathead (Mike)

“This conversation reminds me of an episode of All in the Family. It definitely was not my favorite because there was more drama than comedy. Archie and Meathead were locked in the basement and opening up to each other while drinking. Mike tried to convince Archie their fathers were very similar, but wrong as it turned out. Mike had changed completely, becoming a leftist. Archie, his older father-in-law, was more defensive and blindly insisted his father could do no wrong. Most of us have (had) relatives like that, even those who came to this country as immigrants. They lived among each other (in shtetels?) and had no way of understanding anybody else’s feelings or experiences until getting out in the real world. That’s the way things were then. Today, whether traveling a few blocks or watching TV, most people become exposed to others and realize it’s wrong to use and perpetuate stereotypes.”

You can click here to watch 14 minutes of the 1973 episode. They start talking about their fathers just before 8:30 in.

all in the family

At last check, the (very slightly edited) episode “Snow Sisters’ School Bus Flip” is scheduled to air again Friday, Jan. 26 at 8pm ET, Saturday, Jan. 27 at 3am ET and Sunday, Feb. 4 at 3pm ET.

Shame on DIY and Scripps Networks Interactive for having low standards, avoiding a teaching moment and not dumping it.

F caption grade sized