The case against us all paying for private schools

Several times a year, before elections, a man in Florida emails me about who to support in elections down there. The goal is to receive money (Isn’t that everyone’s?) for private schools. In this case, it’s Jewish religious schools. And that’s despite public schools being free for everyone – Jews too – and paid for with everybody’s tax dollars.

So don’t tell me there’s no alternative when public schools are required to bend over backwards to meet all students’ needs.

school student AThe first time I got the email, I wrote back, asking the nephrologist (a doctor specializing in the diagnosis and treatment of kidney diseases) how he got my name and my email address. He was very polite and offered to take me off. I said it wasn’t necessary. I really wanted to read what he had to say. Information is power and I was a teacher for eight years, spending several lousy months at a Conservative Jewish day school.

The private school was the worst of my experiences and probably the least educational of the three schools where I taught, including public schools in two Florida counties.

Most of the parents whose children I taught at the religious school wanted special programs, and they wanted their children in those programs with people of the same culture. There’s absolutely no question in my mind.

I briefly compared the different teaching experiences when I wrote about why I left the field in general, on the eve of my Florida certification expiring in late June.

hochberg

 

religionsSo the problem I had, personally, was “class” and not religion. I actually liked listening to the religious lessons, from attending the second grade morning prayer service daily, to sitting in on the religious classes in my classroom, while planning and grading papers. I didn’t have to, but I know the religious teachers appreciated it, since my presence helped the children’s behavior.

Yes, many students had behavior issues, just like at any other school. The only differences I noticed were race and their families’ wealth.

From what I saw, the parents paid tuition in the five-figures and knew they could get away with anything. There’s a true saying that children learn in three ways: by “example, example, example.” In other words, they watched their parents (children notice more than many adults believe) and were raised to feel entitled.

Keep in mind, I’m writing about one school. It was a Conservative Jewish one, and Conservative (with a capital C) meant that stream of Judaism was started to “conserve” religious practices, about 100 years ago, that the older Reform movement had given up. So Conservative doesn’t mean the opposite of liberal. It allowed egalitarian seating and the use of microphones (electricity).

In fact, these days, Conservative is pretty much considered liberal since Reform has been bringing back some tradition. It has become the most popular in America, taking Conservative congregants who want shorter services, musical instruments during services and intermarriage (usually as long as the couple promises to raise Jewish children). There’s also paternal lineage (Reform considers children with a Jewish father Jewish, as long as they’re raised Jewish), usually more English during services, and absolutely no questions about egalitarianism or same-sex couples getting married.

Of course, whatever a Jewish person’s thoughts are, they have to be comfortable with the specific synagogue they attend and that includes the clergy, other congregants and financial obligations. A school setting is similar.

Orthodox schools vary greatly, but most separate the boys and girls into different classes at some point. I don’t know whether religious schools or any private schools require teachers to be certified by different states, or whether they have to teach the state’s curriculum or administer standardized tests, but I’m pretty sure it varies.

Grown-ups whose parents had them attend some Hasidic schools are now angry and feeling hopeless, since they know Jewish law and are good at Yiddish, but illiterate in English! There is hardly any secular instruction. See recent articles here, here, here and here, one of which says a New York state senator refused to sign off on the state budget unless Hasidic schools in and around NYC

“were given more autonomy over curricula.”

That’s despite the article saying most of the students

“are doomed to a life of struggle and poverty.”

Of course, religious schools are free to teach anti-gay hate, or that men and women have different roles, or that evolution is science fiction. That’s the case and if you don’t believe me, look at Congress or too many state legislatures!

So this morning, I got this email with the subject line,

“The Future of the Florida Jewish Community Will Be Decided November 6,”

since we Jews are always scared of the worst possibility.

email

Keep in mind, there are plenty of issues with Andrew Gillum but they involve separate subjects. Ron DeSantis is far right-wing. I’ve told plenty of people I’m happy to not have to choose in the Florida governor’s race.

Ron DeSantis (R) and Andrew Gillum (D)

For U.S. Senate, he endorsed the current two-term governor who has his work cut out for him with Hurricane Michael, and will for awhile. How he performs may change some voters’ minds, but the Florida Democratic Party claimed Rick Scott “oversaw the largest Medicare fraud in the nation’s history” and PolitiFact Florida rated the claim Mostly True. Still, he was elected twice since then. Senate incumbent Bill Nelson is running for his fourth term. As for the Iran deal, which I was also totally against, I don’t think the reference was appropriate for endorsements on a single-issue. The author basically said so when he mentioned his group’s mission at the end.

Gov. Rick Scott (R) and Sen. Bill Nelson (D)

Right: A liquor store in Panama City Beach around landfall.

I don’t know enough about the state attorney general candidate but am glad the current one is finally stepping down, and I’m impressed the endorsed CFO candidate is a Democrat, simply because they rarely get this guy’s recommendations. Every good cause should have bipartisan support, as party majorities rotate from one to the other, and back. The only variables are how often, and how wide the margin is.

I had some questions and wrote back, specifically about tax money from the public going to rabbis.

i wrote

And as he did some years ago, he politely answered. I honestly can’t challenge him since seems to know the subject and how to explain it, having studied it for years.

his answer

I can’t say I agree with laundering public tax money so it goes towards religion. That’s different that paying a religious organization for doing secular work.

Jeb Bush's Facebook page
from Jeb Bush’s Facebook page

This is the land with the legacy of Jeb Bush, who accelerated the number and importance of standardized tests more than anyone could imagine. He and his friendly legislature also found ways to get millions of dollars for money for school choice. (Sounds great, doesn’t it?) Count the ways you can take advantage, here.

And then there are charter schools that are public – paid for with money taken from school districts and required to administer state tests – but run by outsiders, often companies, out to make money. And studies have gone back and forth whether they get better results than traditional public schools, despite being able to turn away students, pretty much at their will. (That’s as if test scores are the only surefire way to judge education.)

The man who emailed represents a group called Jewish Leadership Coalition and its Facebook page says it’s “a non-for-profit 501(c)(4) Social Welfare Organization comprised of various Jewish leaders and organizations that have joined together to advocate for greater public funding for secular education in Jewish day schools.”fb jewish coalition

It gives a website that doesn’t seem to work, and doesn’t come up in searches, but this 2013 article announced that it started and who would benefit from the money.

ou jlc
https://www.ou.org/news/jewish_leadership_coalition/

The families whose children go to these schools tend to have more kids than the average American family, and they eat only kosher food. The costs add up. So do the number of students!

Other states with large Jewish populations have groups similar to the one above. This website helps parents in six states get government money to pay tuition that public schools don’t charge.

teach advocacy
https://teachadvocacy.org/

I understand parents with strong religious beliefs want their children brought up in their faith and to have extensive knowledge of it. That’s very difficult in a 24-hour day, where students receive a well-rounded education so they can become professionals who can contribute to society.

clock school

Outside of school these days, “free time” seems to be the “in” thing. Competing with that are all the extracurricular activities parents sign their children up to do, even at the school where I taught. It was a way to make money. Perhaps some of that has to go. Nobody can have it all.

money dollars

The rich make teacher unions look like the boogeyman, as you saw in the response to me, as if all they do is take money. Unions don’t want to protect bad teachers. (I’ve been a shop steward, but it wasn’t my idea.) They want good teachers and to see that those good teachers get the protections like a fair contract and the due process they deserve – to avoid being taken advantage of by bad administrators, not to mention parents who think they know more about education than the supposed experts.

In May, a religious friend conducted this Facebook poll:

Facebook poll

I think the principal was out of line and probably ruined his relationship with this “special needs” student, which may have been hard to build and would probably be harder to rebuild.

I responded.

Facebook response

The man who simply said “They listen to their parents” has a wife who is Director of Special Programs at – you guessed it – a (different) Jewish day school!

It’s natural in every financial transaction that the buyer wants to pay less, while the business (or school) wants more. There has to be a fair solution.

And for years, I’ve had what I consider the perfect solution.

I think public school teachers hired by the district should go to the private schools and teach English, math, science and social studies. Perhaps also electives like physical education, music and art. That would be half the day, and it would be paid for the same way public schools pay for educators and materials. Any tuition crisis would be instantly alleviated!

In my solution, the religious side could teach its material during the other half of the day. So half the school would study religion, and the other half would do secular studies, and then they’d switch!

half

What about religious holidays, like half the month of September and the entire eight days of Passover? The schedule could be adjusted. The public school teachers would volunteer to teach at these schools, especially those who take off for all the holidays anyway. It would be a blessing for the religious school parents to have their children in school while they prepare for the holidays, rather than watching over them because school is canceled, so their teachers could take off to prepare for their own families!

Also, the public school teachers would teach the public school curriculum with no interference, and students would take the same tests as the rest of the general population (without overkill for anybody). Plus, the students would be exposed to people who don’t all look, sound or believe like them.school crossing sign

I want to know what you think about this.

It would also eliminate the worst thing that happens: Parents not sending their children to public schools, but taking the scarce money devoted to education away from them. Which state’s legislature pays enough for quality schools? What school system has enough money to really do its job right? Who pays their teachers what they deserve as professionals? What district gives every one of its poorest students equal access to a quality education at their neighborhood school?

In February, USA Today published a list, ranking the states by the quality of their schools. (Eight of the top nine, and ten of the top 12, are states between the mid-Atlantic and New England! Take that for what it’s worth.) Florida ranks number 29 and the lead to the article on the Sunshine State is pretty grim:

“Florida’s public schools receive some of the lowest funding of any state school system in the country.”

Read the article for the state rankings (luckily all on one webpage) and the results of being too cheap when it comes to educating children, but there’s one I have to share: Florida is 48th out of 50 in the percentage of adults, ages 25-64, with incomes at or above the national median. In other words, you get what you pay for and this is pitiful! Imagine who in the U.S. is behind Florida, despite all the visitors who go there and spend money!

I’ll tell you that your child’s teacher is most important person in the school, besides the students, and every school in every state has good ones and bad ones. Hopefully those bad ones don’t last long but the good ones can be convinced to stay, and we all know money talks.

So do you think my compromise idea would work? Is it at least worth a try? How would you tweak it?

Please leave your comments in the section below, and don’t miss out. If you like what you read here, subscribe to CohenConnect.com with either your email address or WordPress account, and get a notice whenever I publish. I’m also available for writing/web contract work. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennycohen

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Not the typical pet, not the typical vet appointment

What a morning, and I hadn’t even gotten to the vet’s office!

morrisIt was time for Frisky’s first annual physical. That’s not counting the office visit she had a year ago, after I adopted her from Morris Animal Refuge on Clear the Shelters Day.

Frisky has always been a tough one. She was only four months old, which is extremely young to have had “the surgery” and be up for adoption – so I was told.

Her well-written bio read,

“I’m very mature for my age. I’m a Miss Smartypants. I’m going to be your favorite.”

friskys bio
Take out your resumes! How many of you have bios ready to go?
caseys baby pic
Casey’s baby picture, before we met

I didn’t grow up a cat person and had Casey for just about nine years at that point. When I got him at the Humane Society in Miami, I’d been told not to get a kitten but someone older, who knew how to be a cat.

Casey was seven months old. I didn’t even know cats could jump, and his timing with the camera was impeccable! My vocabulary wasn’t, with my then-five-year-old nephew Preston watching.

getting casey

Casey has been wonderful, moving with me from South Beach, to closer to my parents between Miami and Fort Lauderdale, to a Tennessee rental, then a Virginia house, to a Philadelphia rental and now our condo.

Casey’s first birthday and helping me grade papers.

The boy really knows how to take a catnap!

He taught me a lot about cats. I knew he could use company and he had so much to offer!

Casey on South Beach watching KYW’s Carol Erickson do the weather in Philadelphia, and having a good conversation with his grandmother.

So Clear the Shelters Day, 2017, sounded like the perfect (not “purr-fect” – I’m not like that!) opportunity to get him a little brother or sister, but I’d actually been thinking about it for a few years.

I’d asked around about getting a second cat and learned about keeping them in separate rooms until they got used to each other.

2017-08-29 casey frisky
Ten days after meeting

I was familiar with Morris through one of our Fox anchors, Lucy Noland. She hooked me up, and I got a tour and brought them donations. The funny part is, I lived two blocks away for two-and-a-half years (2001-2004) but never went inside!

clear the shelters

Anyway, Clear the Shelters Day is one of the busier days because the animals are free to good, loving homes. Just get to know each other, do some paperwork and bring a carrier if you’re taking a cat!

On Aug. 19, 2017, Pedro and I showed up, and it was like I was a kid in a crowded candy store.2017-08-19 Frisky morris animal 1

I told them what I was interested in, and they showed me where to look. It was a lot more cramped in Center City Philadelphia than a pretty new building in North Miami Beach.2017-08-19 Frisky morris animal 2

Others were looking but Frisky didn’t get much attention. I don’t know why. Maybe it was that others heard what I did, and she was only four months old.2017-08-19 Frisky morris animal 3

Anyway, she wasn’t very friendly. Maybe it was the ruckus going on. I can understand that! It took patience to get her to adjust, and she needed a little work on her eyes. (I don’t know her background.) She only recently started letting me pet her for more than a few seconds!

Last December, my parents visited and not only did Frisky steal food, she hid under the bed, waited for my frail mother to walk by, and then attacked her ankle when she did! She still goes after Pedro’s toes with her teeth. Luckily, I’ve long had a habit of wearing socks.

casey frisky variety

Now, Casey and Frisky are just like any other siblings!

On the other hand, years earlier in Miami, Casey and some other kittens were out on the floor at the Humane Society. The others were playing but Casey only wanted to be with me! That was an easy decision!

2017 casey birthday
One of Casey’s birthday cards, last year

(Truth be told, he started as KC. I changed the spelling. I wouldn’t confuse him with a name change.)

reading

Back to today.

I really had to fight to get Frisky into the carrying case. Fur was flying! She didn’t even care about the treats in the contraption.

I ended up with clothes looking white even though they weren’t, because of her hair, and scratches all over my arms from nails that had never been cut. (Last year, we forgot, and I couldn’t do it myself. Earlier tonight, my friend Ric mentioned I should’ve used a towel to hold her. Duh!)

Finally, I won.

We drove to the office and I signed her in. She listened to a big loud doggy wearing a satellite dish in the waiting room, who might have put her in her place. By then, after what I’d been through plus all that barking, all I was thinking about was Tylenol.

scale

The good news is Frisky weighs 9.5 lbs., which means she’s a big girl but not fat. (I don’t think she minds you knowing that, or her age for that matter.) Her teeth and everything else looked good, and she got three shots so quickly I didn’t even notice.

Oh, and she got her nails clipped for the first time! That’ll come in very handy when she’s in a mood.

Luckily, she didn’t have fleas. The doctor said he has been seeing them early and often this year, even in indoor cats.

But that wasn’t all.

post office

cleanser

We had to stop at the post office. Frisky came thisclose to getting mailed to her grandparents in Florida. I wonder if my mother would’ve signed for her.

Then, we walked to the Rite Aid across the street for a special cleanser for my arms. The doctor suggested it so I wouldn’t get cat scratch fever. (Frisky may be healthy, and Casey too, but they still have to step in their potty litter box.)

But it was great to overhear the doctor tell the technician all the way from where I was paying, “Awesome! What a healthy cat!”

That’s really what counts. Isn’t it?

blanket

Please leave your comments in the section below, and don’t miss out. If you like what you read here, subscribe to CohenConnect.com with either your email address or WordPress account, and get a notice whenever I publish. I’m also available for writing/web contract work.

More moderation in politics, not so in casting calls

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. There’s too much going on, between job stuff, the news and that last blog post I wrote.ak1

It was about being attacked on Facebook by someone who was angry I don’t think Barack Obama is my favorite president and made nasty knee-jerk comments when I simply asked my friend who’d made the post, “Favorite? Really?”

I didn’t see or refer to anything this crazy person had written, but she was obviously too thin-skinned and took it as a personal assault, and lazy and dumb because she couldn’t refute anything I wrote. She resorted to claims of “disrespect” and name-calling.

I’m glad someone commented on that Facebook exchange with a radical liberal after I’d already published the post. That’s when I learned about the new group #WalkAway. It’s called #WalkAway Campaign and it’s no more than a few weeks old.

The group describes itself this way:

group description

I wouldn’t go as far as the group describes itself – it was founded by a New York hairdresser – but I hope it becomes a place for moderates to respectfully discuss issues, because I’m so tired of the extremists on both sides and also both political parties. (I have to say I wish money was out of politics.) They seem so dirty to me and I don’t like the idea of politicians having to choose sides, to be aligned with one side and work against the other. We’re all independent with different subjects important to us, and different views on them.

walk away Brandon Straka
https://www.walkawaycampaign.com/

I don’t know if this will lead to a third party, and we know those haven’t worked in America, but I think most of us are sick of holding our noses and voting. That’s not how it should be. Neither should it be voting down either party’s line because there are good people on both sides.

vote voting electionNotice I said “voting” and not staying home because if you stay home, then you have no say. Remember “No taxation without representation?” Americans fought a war for independence. Much later, women and blacks finally got the right to vote, even though blacks had to wait another hundred years to do so without fear of violence or a poll tax.

Voting is not a right to be taken for granted.

i voted
Showing I voted. Yes, in Philadelphia. Not in Miami and definitely not the Tri-Cities!

President Trump may have been elected by people on the left who didn’t like Hillary Clinton. I’m not judging but simply stating what I believe to be fact. (I don’t know if anyone but the insiders know enough about Russian influence to make a firm decision. I’m certainly not.)

hillary clinton donald trump

Tell me, looking back, if all the people who stayed home on the day of the election rather than vote for a flawed candidate (and they were both flawed), would Trump be president? Do those people I’m referring to regret what they did (or didn’t do)?

There is one thing that bothers me about the #WalkAway group and it’s easy to find on Facebook. This group, probably about a week old, has too many rules and regulations, and too many moderators rejecting posts.

rejected comment
This is no way to gain support!

The hand print after a name in the photo above is supposed to mean the person joined the group within the past two weeks. (I had one yesterday but not today, for what it’s worth.) The shield with the check mark means the person is one of 18 who manages the membership and posts. Something doesn’t sit right with me on all that.

I was told to put my story in the “Random Stuff” section, which is already on Part Three, which contains almost a thousand posts like mine.

my comment

My comment was probably not noticed by the rulers of the page but besides my story, I let them know they’re probably shooting themselves in the foot if they’re going to continue being so strict. They’ll alienate possible supporters and there are many, considering how many signed up to join the group and had to be accepted. Hopefully they’ll get that right.

Speaking of radical liberals, there are some in the transgender community and their supporters who didn’t think Scarlett Johansson should play a transgender role in the movie Rub & Tug.

They ought to be pleased – if there’s any way to please them – Johansson has decided to pull out.

The dissenters claimed the role should’ve gone to a transgender actor instead, and said it proved how limited opportunities are for transgender actors (male-to-female or female to male) – as if casting people are allowed to ask.

In early 2016, The Advocate reported,

“A television show inspired by the life of Dan Savage encountered a snafu when it sought to cast a gay actor for the part of a gay teen.

“Todd Holland, a producer of The Real O’Neals, was alarmed to learn that he is prohibited from asking actors about their sexual orientation.”

That’s California law, meant to protect everyone of all genders, gender identities and orientations. Unfortunately, if you can’t ask, there’s also research and word-of-mouth.

Remember, this is acting and there shouldn’t be discrimination in any form. (Actually, it would probably matter in the adult film industry but I’ll leave that to the lawyers.)

the real o'nealsHolland got lucky.

The Advocate reported,

“It was very important to me [to cast a gay actor], and I was in a panic,” Holland said.

“Ultimately, the ABC show … did find a gay actor for the role: the 21-year-old Noah Galvin. The AP reports that Holland had a ‘sense’ that Galvin was gay and that he overheard the young man speaking about coming out to his parents.”

By the way, Galvin is half-Jewish (on his mother’s side, which makes it absolutely certain if you’re Orthodox or Conservative) but his character comes from a strictly Irish Catholic family. And Jay R. Ferguson plays his father, but he’s not, and he plays a police officer, which he’s also not.

But back to reality.

Johansson was cast in Rub & Tug as a mob-connected massage parlor owner who was a woman but lived as a man.

According to the Associated Press,

“Johansson was initially quite defiant and told anyone who had a problem with her casting to speak to the director.

“She said in a statement: ‘Tell them they can be directed to Jeffrey Tambor, Jared Leto, and Felicity Huffman’s reps for comment.’”

All three are cisgender but played transgender characters.

cisgender
Definition for the record, since this subject is new to so many people – good people – who just don’t know and it’s not their fault.

Also, it’s not a very old word.

But speaking to Out magazine, Johansson said something diffferent than earlier.

“I’ve learned a lot from the community since making my first statement.

“While I would have loved the opportunity to bring Dante’s story and transition to life, I understand why many feel he should be portrayed by a transgender person.

“I am thankful that this casting debate … has sparked a larger conversation about diversity and representation in film.”

And for the bean-counters out there, Variety reports bisexual actress Evan Rachel Wood (who I never heard of) is in talks to take on a voice actor role for the sequel to 2013’s Disney film Frozen, and some fans hope Wood will play Elsa’s girlfriend.

This scriptwriter (and radical liberal, if you read her Twitter posts) is even demanding it!

movie Frozen 2013She just proved my earlier point, “if there’s any way to please them,” and I suggest she spend a very long time quietly counting the number of LGBTQ+ roles versus the number of LGBTQ+ actors. I want specifics on L, G, B, Y, Q and +, so nobody can say they’re left out. We wouldn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. And if there aren’t enough roles to go around, then she should stop writing on Twitter and do her job.

By the way, “Frozen 2” is supposed to hit theaters Nov. 27, 2019. The original hit nearly $1.3 billion in box offices worldwide and won the Academy Award for best animated film in 2014.

Also, something to think about: The many roles of straight, cisgender characters in TV, the movies and the stage.

What if no sexual minority actors were offered any of those roles because they’re not straight, cisgender people? And you have to admit, numerically, characters without any love interest would probably be assumed to be straight and cisgender, since they’re the majority.

Does anyone have an answer to that?

american flag red white blue stars stripes

gay flag

Just know the earlier issues are being discussed and things are getting better. No whining or demanding necessary.

Please leave your comments in the section below, and don’t miss out. If you like what you read here, subscribe to CohenConnect.com with either your email address or WordPress account, and get a notice whenever I publish. I’m also available for writing/web contract work.

Grave situation for hours outside Detroit

Aug. 26, 2018 UPDATE: Grave marker raised and leveled, in early August. I may be back in a few weeks.

oakview cemetery

I don’t go on many vacations and didn’t plan to write a blog on this one, but the most unusual thing happened while trying to visit my grandfather’s grave at the cemetery in Royal Oak, Michigan.

Pedro and I had gone to Flint to visit, and for me to meet his family for the first time.2018 Grandpa Leos grave 1

We decided today, we would drive to Detroit and possibly visit an aquarium on the way back.

First stop was going to be visiting the grave of my Grandpa Leo, my father’s father who died in 1954. That means he lived 52 years and has been gone for 64. There wasn’t much warning. After that, my father moved to Florida, at 13, along with my Grandma Lillie and then my Aunt Diane.

I’ve been to the Oakview Cemetery twice before. First, I was with the family in 1989.

Then, I went by myself in 2001, while I was on a job interview and ended up getting offered the job to produce the 11:00 news at CBS-owned WWJ-Channel 62 in Detroit. Good thing I got the opportunity to stay in Philadelphia because not only did Channel 62 get rid of its newscasts, it also canceled the 10:00 news on its new sister-station WKBD-Channel 50, which was UPN and now The CW.

2018 Grandpa Leos grave 2

Anyway, I was with Pedro, his sister Olga, and their mother. We stopped off at the cemetery office and got directions to the grave. And we looked. And looked. And looked.

2018 Grandpa Leos grave 3No sign of the headstone.

I had some idea of the area and was able to find some cousins, the Coltons, but no sign of my grandfather. Eventually, Pedro called the cemetery office and a guy named Peter came out to try to help us find it. And he couldn’t.

Then, he called a woman from the office who has a good reputation for finding missing graves. She was able to locate some stone markers but they’d been covered with dirt and were very dry, so we had trouble reading them.

Eventually, we figured out numbers 85, 86 and 87 in the area. I went to the place and started digging with my fingers, trying to find grave number 1 in the right section.

And there it was, under at least four inches of dirt! There were others completely covered, and pretty deep, as well.2018 Grandpa Leos grave 4

Uncovering all the dirt wasn’t easy. Pedro found some sticks that we used to try to get the dirt off the headstone. Even his elderly mother was on the ground, pulling grass out of the way!

Finally, the cemetery people called a worker with a shovel to lift the stone up a few inches.

We had baby wipes in the car and used those to clean the stone, and were finally able to read it clearly.

Peter said he put a work order in and tomorrow morning, the stone should have extra dirt underneath to keep it above ground. Pedro and I have a few more days here and will fly out of Detroit, so we’ll probably be back to check.

finding Grandpa Leos grave

This just goes to show what regular visits to cemeteries mean. They’re supposed to provide perpetual care, but how do you know? How often do you visit?

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are popular. So are birthdays, anniversaries and Memorial Day. The time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur for Jews.

Of course, it’s not easy traveling from Philadelphia to Michigan, or my family from Miami to Michigan. What about all the people in Florida with loved ones buried in New York?

Grandpa Leos grave
The third line is his Hebrew name and his father’s. The fourth is the date of death on the Hebrew calendar.

The decision to have my Grandpa Leo buried at that location was made many years ago. Then came the decision to move to Florida, and my Grandma Lillie died and was buried down south in 1976. She has an upright headstone. He has a flat one. Times changed a lot in those almost 20 years, and there’s nothing I can do — or have the right to do — to change anything.

It gets me thinking that people have to decide what they want, and make sure their wishes are known, and will be followed. And also make sure the money is there.

2018 after cemetery

Thanks to Pedro, his sister and their mother for digging, patience and other help with the search. And I’m sorry that what should’ve been a 15-20 minute stop, including directions at the office, turned into a two-hour ordeal.

Please, don’t miss out. If you like what you read here, subscribe to CohenConnect.com with either your email address or WordPress account, and get a notice whenever I publish. I’m also available for writing/web contract work.

In defense: The good Facebook can do when used by the right people

First, happy Mother’s Day to everyone to whom that applies. I hope you’re having a great day!

casey frisky mothers day
You’ll have to excuse them. Casey and Frisky are still learning their colors.

Second, today is also the celebration of Yom Yerushalayim, or Jerusalem Day. It’s the Hebrew anniversary of when the Israelis recaptured the eastern/holy part of the city in the Six-Day War of 1967. It’s where no Arab country’s leader had visited except Jordan’s King Hussein, who’d “occupied” it 19 years earlier in 1948.

But then it suddenly became so important to them.

There is lots and lots to say about President Trump, but this post isn’t about him. Still, he is making the embassy move from Tel Aviv happen and no other American president has done so, despite being able. So thank you, President Trump.

Trump Jlem Day poster
Picture above and video below, courtesy Nyla

Israelis, naturally, are celebrating.

There’s an article written this weekend by former U.S. Ambassador to Israel Dan Shapiro (President Obama’s) and publicly supported by current U.S. Ambassador to Israel David Friedman (President Trump’s).

Shapiro, who is much more liberal, described the situation with a question:

“Why hasn’t the US ever recognized Jerusalem as Israel’s capital? Some people date it to the controversy that arose in 1967, when Israel captured East Jerusalem from Jordan in the Six-Day War and unified the city, describing it as a US protest against the Israeli ‘occupation’ of East Jerusalem. That’s wrong.

“The truth is that US policy on Jerusalem derives from events 20 years earlier, when the United Nations passed the Partition Plan for Palestine in November 1947.”

The two differ on many things but as my friend Andy, who pointed the article out, published:

“Good to see President Trump’s ambassador positively sharing an article by President Obama’s ambassador. Let’s keep support for Israel bipartisan.”

In the article, Shapiro described a day in the life of a U.S. Ambassador to Israel:

“Jerusalem had always been Israel’s capital, and we have always treated it functionally, if not formally, as such. When I served as the US Ambassador at our embassy in Tel Aviv, nearly every day I would be driven to Jerusalem to conduct affairs of state with the Israeli government at the Prime Minister’s office, the Foreign Ministry, and the Knesset.”

Then, he goes into a brief history of the complicated situation with Jerusalem at the center of it, describes a possible step towards solving an issue that has been delayed too many times over too many decades, and then how the embassy move could help end the century-old conflict. Let’s hope!

Also, Donald Trump’s face is featured on a ceremonial Israeli coin marking the 70th anniversary of the country’s rebirth.

It depicts Trump alongside the biblical King Cyrus of Persia, who allowed the Jews to return to Jerusalem 2,500 years ago, after King Nebuchadnezzar destroyed the first Temple (King Solomon’s) in 586 B.C. and exiled the Jews to Babylon.

Why does the other side try to claim there’s no Jewish history in Jerusalem? Who are they trying to fool? The answer is gullible haters who don’t want to believe it.

And onto the subject at hand, since I rarely write about myself and even more rarely write about personal subjects rather than professional ones.

Last week, I got a message on Facebook from someone I hadn’t seen in at least 30 years, and probably more like 40.

Technically, I’ve seen him on Facebook. We have several mutual friends, so we’ve seen each other commenting on their posts. (I’m speaking for myself, but can’t imagine the opposite not being true.) We were never really friendly growing up, even though we certainly knew each other.

The message went:

“Hi Lenny, I’m not sure of you remember me, but we grew up together. My memory may be off here, but I feel like I wasn’t always the nicest person to you and I really just want to apologize If I ever did or said anything to make you feel bad. You may not even recall this and maybe it’s more in my head. Anyhow, I just wanted to reach out and say hello. I hope you and your family are doing well. I remember your father very well. … He was always a really nice guy. Again, I know this is very random, but I saw your comment on _____’s post and just to reach out and say hello. Regards, _____”

Wow! Takes guts and a good person to write something like that. Very impressive!

I responded with a quick,

“No worries. I only remember good things. Hope you’re well. Thanks for writing!”

And we connected a few more times.old Lenny

The truth, as I remember it, is I was not happy growing up in Florida. Early on, I felt most of the people simply couldn’t make it in civilization, like New York.

You know what Frank Sinatra sang:

“If I can make it there,
I’ll make it anywhere.”

It was almost always too hot and humid. I wanted to stay inside and watch TV. I was a loner until high school.

Meanwhile, more people moved in to die. The area got more spread out and there was still traffic everywhere. Just Thursday, a friend posted this picture. It’s not downtown Miami but west of the airport.

The goal was to move to New York, which luckily – thanks to my parents – I didn’t do during college and never took on debt.

And instead of moving to New York, once I had enough career experience, I lived on both sides of it: almost two years in Connecticut and eight years in Philadelphia.

When I visit Florida, which hasn’t happened in more than a year, I feel even more like an outsider because of the language barrier. It’s a right-to-work state. Wages are low. So are taxes, even for people work in much better places and spend just 183 days a year there. On the other hand, insurance rates are sky high because of hurricanes and the water level will soon be, too.

south beach flood
Looking down from the 5th floor of my South Beach condo, at 11th and Alton, after about an hour of rain.

Plus, having the career I had and never letting up, I’ve become more of a homebody in recent years.

The writer, who was nice enough to contact me on Facebook, was not a jerk or bully or anything like that. There were some people like that and always will be, even though the world has changed and adults are supposed to be looking for more signs, these days.

And count on the politically-correct police, out in force, to make sure nobody ever feels bad, ever:

inclusive cheerleading
A friend found this article from New Jersey, last week, which you can click here to read and watch parts of the meeting.
2006 ncaa tournament chris christie philadelphia
Chris Christie would’ve never put up with that!

People are going to feel bad. That’s a fact of life. It’s not fair. I suggest you fight for what you believe most and try not to sweat the less important stuff. Forget about it, especially if you’re not sure it actually happened decades ago.

And I thank Facebook for the information above. I would not have had it otherwise.

We know the company has had issues – not just recently but for many years.

Yes, our personal information is their asset.

No, the company could’ve done more to protect it.

Yes, it’s trying to get its act together on security and news that gives facts.

No, it won’t be done soon. It’s a long work in progress with decisions still to be made.

Yes, I’ve written a lot on the subject!

But if it helps you reconnect with people from your past, parents see pictures of their kids in college, grandparents see pictures of their grandchildren, and lets people celebrate their moms on Mother’s Day, and see the excitement of Israelis thrilled about their capital city being reunited and what’s to come this week, then get on board and sign up.

You don’t have to use every function or app, or even a few – but you’re missing out if you’re too stubborn to say you won’t miss good things if you’re not on Facebook.

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